So much to say~

watching president's star charity now...Fei Xiang's voice is so captivating..not only charismatic but also a real gentleman..

cant believe i can use so many adjectives for him for his mere 15 min performance..LOL

Cousin Vincent has his share of performance..."Xin Ku Da Le" JIa You~

Very nice of him earlier today, all of us chatted...his family n all...I laughed so hard just from d stuff he said..

His dad said to me today..tat i've changed so much, i used to always stay in my room whenever they come visit, sometimes..i will come out of my room n take a peek then scurried back to my room..not even giving them a damn(greeting them?) Very quiet n fierce? But now, i'm better? He said i'm more sociable now..talks to them n stuff...

From my case, i conclude tat ppl do change! Either for the better or worse..tats for them or ppl ard them to decide! I personally feel tat it might be better if i stay d way i was before..coop myself up at home so tat i wont spend so much(saving up is quite impt) plus i can revise my sch work. On the other hand, i will be this selfish, heartless, loner who doesnt have frens or family members to care for myself if i do so. Thus, i figured there gotta be a balance of both sides..continue to go out n have fun but not forgetting my studies n saving up!!!

***KeeP This In MInd***

Well,...before i had that thought, i'd done some stuff i got to reflect on..like having a haircut n treatment for $60 on friday..facial for $176 on sat. Spank my palm!

Oh, i certainly enjoyed yesterday! Shopping with cousin linda,san gu n xiao gu..for dinner, we prepared salad,sausages,sushi,sotong balls n chicken n white wine! The layout was very romantic..candlelight dinner, fireworks(ndp rehearsal..it can be seen from d rooftop!) rather a special day in a not very special day...toking crap..

Aiya..have yet to do my research for sch work..die die..

ciao!

watever

i'm thinking too much. i've driven myself into a hole..wanna get out yet i cant..not totally at least..

i don noe how to explain d feeling..

just let it be?

Been bumping into old pals lately..

Like fiona from pri sch..used to hang out a lot with her..n liyong..playin mahjong n stuff..(not gambling lo)

Then, met weiling today near jp..i was on my way to gram's place as usual whenever i'm released from sch early..at 3pm.

time is passing so quickly..frens have changed..me too...

How odd?

Ridiculous!!

It was a sunday two days ago...i went down to my dad's stall to eat noodles..i intended to pack food up for my grandmother...then, wat they thought as an easy act i could do was to also take "d woman"'s food up too...immediately, i thought "y should i? That damn woman isnt crippled is she?" So i told my sis tat i wont n shant do it~ i'm only gonna take my grandma's food up.

Sis said i was stubborn n will regret wat i did.."wat d hell can i regret..i don think i'm wrong.."

She also said dad did not mean to call me down to get the food just that since i happen to come down, i "could" take it up for her...

Urgh! i replied "NO WAY"~

At that moment i really thought i can deal with everything thats gonna come....like his scolding n all.....

RIDICULOUS~~~~~

Sis said my dad's not gonna tok to me anymore or give me money just because i treated him in that manner...like shit lo..i'm so pissed!~

Is he threatening me? I don like being threatened. I'm stubborn. Yes.

I just feel he is becoming so childish n all..thinking i should do as he say just because i'm living in his house...God save me...i need to get out of here asap.."tears just flowed"

My sis n bro dont seem to mind that damn woman's presence....y? y cant they be on my side...am i being unreasonable...y must they be on their side? HYpocrites...so now, he's the big shot just because he owns the house?

i never thought it would be this way.

Am i to stick with it?

Or Let go my beliefs?

I need to be stronger.

I shant be look down upon.

I can deal with it.

Just give me Strength.

Only Friday!

Yesterday was gonna be the only friday i'm released from sch as early as 12pm.. the rest of the weeks coming up, i'm having elective class (health info management)up to 5pm..hate it.

Went to research books store intending to get a medical-surgical bk(costs 70 bucks) with rest of my pals..turns out second-hand bk might be available..so i guess i'm probably gonna get one.(wouldnt mind at all for reference use)

Met up with iren at 3pm plus to play pool at bukit timah plaza..its been so long since we hang out..funny though, we're feeling tired n sleepy just playin..cos our tummy was grumbling!

Ate jap food in this restaurant nearby jurong kechil rd..both of us ate ramen,teriyaki chicken n salad..rounds up to 40 bucks or so. Then, bought 10 durian puffs each from this shop iren highly recommended. Fabulous!

Went to jp next..no idea y, our train ride..we ended up fighting n fooling ard..both of us insisting d other was wrong..LOL~ haiz.. such a joker!

"The island" movie was very gd..there isnt a moment one will feel bored..interesting storyline.

Watched it with iren n serene last night.. so tired when i reached home.

Just now, was reading emails..from cousin..one of them was abt jacelyn tay's beauty tips...very useful for me...realised more abt detox n health n beauty..bla bla bla..

bottomline..drink lots of water,sleep early,have balanced meals......

I guess i'm lacking in exercise plus fruits n fibres!

Off^^

I'm task-oriented i guess...always listing out d stuff i'm gonna do..then cancelling it out when i've got it done..mm..it freaks me out>? i'm getting a bit paranoid over d presentations coming up...

today for skills, i learnt nasogastric tube...well, inserting tube from nose to stomach either to feed or washout or suction..havent practise though..hehe..gonna go watch video on it tml morning.

I wanna get a backpack or so u call it for sch. i love my adidas bag, esp so i ought to save it for special occasions. Which brand of bag should i get noww...?

Finished eating crossiant n dou hua...feeling more alert now than back in sch earlier...(always having giddy spells)

Sijie said quan shun is asking us out to sentosa this sun..i'm not sure if i can go..will try to...

Sat night got to attend this same relative's not long ago sister's wedding..at hilton hotel(went dere once before)

Yet to finish researching~ argh!

1st wk of 2nd sch yr

Gosh! sch work is flooding me...i would never wanna imagine how i'm gonna cope with it all~ all those presentations i got to do...new grp members i got to work with, planning ahead abt d sch work, e-learning... its so hard~

Blame myself? i'm always feeling lethargic..i need tonics**

Went to visit gram today after sch. she's gonna go for scopy thingy to see wats wrong with her stomach..she's having pain most of the time...in sep 5, her appointment at sgh. Its on monday, i wonder if i can go with her? i wanna be with her..mmm..but sch is still on..haiz..it simply hurts so much to know she's in pain..fortunately, for now..she's quite alright.

my room's tv had been out of service for months..goodness! when can i watch tv shows in my room?

gotta go get ready for tml's sch materials..

lecture starts at 8am..end e day at 4pm.

ciaoz

list of stuff to do

i'm a weirdo..i feel sleepy in the day, still i continue sleeping at night. How could the side effects of the medication be so strong>?! So my break wk is spent on eating,sleeping,slacking...

I have still yet to enjoy myself enough..havent been playin much..perhaps only tml--> gonna go play pool with peiqin n adrian.

Was at gram's place today...lunch n dinner dere is simple n nice! i really wanna spend more time with gram if i can cos she's so lonely. i will hardly have any time when sch starts next wk..urghz!

Crap~

I have so much to do? thinking abt where i can keep my yr 1 materials..cos i'm gonna get my yr 2 notes tml as well.

tired as always~

Groggy

i'm feeling eva sleepy! All due to the medicine i got from the clinic n polyclinic. I spent so much time n money just going to see the doc. Firstly, went to the private clinic..she gave me cream to apply for my skin prob: i'm somehow allergic to my own sweat. Also, some anti-imflammatory tablets.

Then i gotta go to d polyclinic,whom d doc told me to take x ray d next day(tat was yestd)...

i left the polyclinic without paying! Goodness! Anyway, yestd i waited so long before it was my turn for x ray..seen d doc, no bone fractures..but could be some prob with ligaments! Not sure wat to do except to not strain my knee~

I was careless n left d umbella dere...haix.

Went to visit grandmother afterwards...her hair is growing longer but she doesnt wan to cut..lol

I watched the famous korean drama "DA CHANG JIN" dere..it was so touching..i cried...shall continue to watch fr channel 55. the young little actress acts so well~

I'm gonna go over to san gu's place later to get free tic for movies at lido..

I'm so bored..wat can i do..?

tml gonna go shop for sch stuff le..

laters

Mum drove me to ICA building on sat to update my photo in my passport. Then, drove me to cousin's place. Cousin pauline suggested going to east coast to cycle n roller blade.. so i went with her n her daughter, michelle. My knee injury was not ok when i cycled..still, i wanted to cycle..hees..

Michelle piggy(cycled 4 wheels) kept complaining of being tired n slowed down like every 5 sec..gosh, we gotta keep waiting for her. Her mum, however was so much better..1st time rollerblading n doing so well..all thanx to her being an athlete(no kidding, she's an wushu instructor plus an ex-national wushu athlete!)

On sun

me,cousin pauline,michelle,cousin linda,san gu,xiaogu n grandma went to junction 8.

Intending to eat at "Ding Tai Fung"~ the "xiao long bao" n dou sa dumpling is too GD!

Would love to go there n eat again.

Shopped a while...

Cousin pauline gave me a ride to chinese garden dere..had to return my rented dvd. Then, met up with richmon,mango n auntie. It was pouring so heavily we had to head to esplanade's harrys. There were no seats available inside due to a private function so we sat outside. Pretty memorable n romantic, cos it was drizzling when we had our drinks n food.

Had still got d blues, two white wines were shared among us! i say, wolf bass is smoother down d throat!

I think i'm gonna see a doc right after my entry. some skin prob n my knee!

Visiting grandmother tml..

This whole wk, i wanna enjoy to the fullest! i'm broke..get some fr dad?gd idea? he keeps scolding me..sian arh..

laters~

Forever Scar

Was i wrong? wanting to be home early after work at 9pm..yet i got a punishment>?/

Chased the bus, bus din stop, i stopped, n my right leg was down into d drain..

I felt so helpless, had only a few pieces of tissue, tears dripping out uncontrollably, n bcos of d bus ride, i only reached home 50 min later..how miserable i felt both physically n psychologically~ when i cleaned up my wound! there will be a scar! n d PaiN..pain score:7/10

So today, i limp to work early in d morning at 5 plus am..sobs..

One day to go before my one wk break...yet, i cant play cos of my injured knee..

Argh~` `

Sweetie pei qin helped to dress my wound..

oh, n i got to buy my notes tml...limping to nyp>_<

Gosh!

Is he shooting me? Lol 

take a moment to appreciate d pretty dessert! 

me n cousins in hotel room(hk) 

my name> character?

You entered: Tan Shimin Eileen
There are 15 letters in your name.Those 15 letters total to 76There are 7 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 4
The characteristics of #4 are: A foundation, order, service, struggle against limits, steady growth.

The expression or destiny for #4:Order, service, and management are the cornerstones of the number 4 Expression. Your destiny is to express wonderful organization skills with your ever practical, down-to-earth approach. You are the kind of person who is always willing to work those long, hard hours to push a project through to completion. A patience with detail allows you to become expert in fields such as building, engineering, and all forms of craftsmanship. Your abilities to write and teach may lean toward the more technical and detailed. In the arts, music will likely be your choice. Artistic talents may also appear in such fields as horiculture and floral arrangement, as well. Many skilled physicians and especially surgeons have the 4 Expression.
The positive attitudes of the 4 Expression yield responsibility; you are one who no doubt, fulfills obligations, and is highly systematic and orderly. You are serious and sincere, honest and faithful. It is your role to help and you are required to do a good job at everything you undertake.

If there is too much 4 energies present in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes of the number 4. The obligations that you face may tend to create frustration and feelings of limitation or restriction. You may sometimes find yourself nursing negative attitudes in this regard and these can keep you in a rather low mood. Avoid becoming too rigid, stubborn, dogmatic, and fixed in your opinions. You may have a tendency to develop and hold very strong likes and dislikes, and some of these may border on the classification of prejudice. The negative side of 4 often produces dominant and bossy individuals who use disciplinarian to an excess. These tendencies must be avoided. Finally, like nearly all with 4 Expression, you must keep your eye on the big picture and not get overly wrapped up in detail and routine.

Your Soul Urge number is: 1
A Soul Urge number of 1 means: Your Soul Urge is the number 1. With a Soul Urge number of 1, you want to lead and direct, to work independent of supervision, by yourself or with subordinates. You take pride in you abilities and want to be recognized for them. You may seek opportunities to display your strength and usefulness, wanting to create and originate. In your desire to manage the big picture and the main issues, you may often leave the details to others.
The positive 1 Soul Urge is Ambitious and determined, a leader seeking opportunities. There is a great deal of honesty and loyalty in this character. If you possess positive 1 Soul Urge qualities, you are very attainment oriented and driven to success. You are a loyal friend and strictly fair in your business dealings.

The negative side of the 1 Soul Urge must be avoided. A negative 1 is apt to dominate situations and people; the home, the spouse, the family and the business. Emotions aren't strong in this nature. If you possess an excess of 1 energy, you may, at times, be boastful and egotistic. You must avoid being too critical and impatient of trifles. The great need of the 1 Soul Urge is the development of friendliness, and a sincere interest in people.
Your Inner Dream number is: 6

An Inner Dream number of 6 means: You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.

New frens new semester

N again, its friday..

this past three wks being in ward 76 has been quite alright...made new frens from yr 2..real nice of them..we helped each other..or rather they helped me>jolyn n jiang yan..too bad..i can hardly get to meet them when Yr 2 semester starts..

Still, will try to keep in touch..*pretty hard*

All right, officially--> Yr 2 sem 1 starts this coming monday..

But, i'll be still having my attachment for a week before another one wk break(considered my holiday for sem 1..arghz...so little..) then only i'll start my sch term~17/7

In Dec, will have another 3 wks break..total only a mth's holiday..how pathetic..i wan more!!

I'm in conflict!! in my heart, one part of me wanna go back to sch n get away from hospital...

whereas, d other part of me is feeling the stress of all d stuff i gotta do n learn in sch...

Imagine d night classes tat end at 8pm?? Definitely not my cup of tea..come on>_<

*pouts*

Oh~ come to think of it...i've been skippin tennis lessons for like since april...3 mths..don noe wats gonna happen to me when i get back..one hell of a big scolding!!!! slowed by so much~~~

i'm drained up! Put up a drip for me pls!

off to rest`