Letting go or simply throwing it all away?

i've always had this prob going on with my sis. i thought she cared for me unneccessarily whenever i don need her but when i do need her, she's not there for me. I simply hate it..so i flared up at her ever so often.

However, cousinlinda made me realise that it could be so that she's trying to be especially nice to me when she can and it happens that i simply don need it at that moment...but blames it on her when she's not ard.

I totally got her meaning there...but its not as easy as it seems..perhaps my eq is lower, or rather i choose to believe more in myself than change...my attitude.

Same goes for my dad's case, til now, they all think i should simply "fang kai" (forgive or let go)...

Be nice to him,spare a thought for him, care for him...

In everyone's eyes, i'm just a selfish kid who's stubborn and insensible...refusing to listen to ppl or heed ppl's advice. BUt, wat do they know!? Who doesnt like to be the nice, sweet, thoughtful gal that everyone likes>? Of cos, i would love to be one.. my aunt and cousin are emphasizing so much on it...haiz..xiaogu is this kind of person who thinks she can be one very nic3e person...and indeed she is doing it all so readily that immediately puts me to shame.

I wanna quit being so affected by it...i wanna ignore it, i wanna throw everything away n bury it.

However, it is always dug out one by one...adding a huge stone on my shoulder...slapping one big fat piece of my face.

Go ahead everyone~ be ur nice self, just let me go....i cant..i simply cant...i tried..

Forget abt it